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earl.gif (4054 bytes) Blonde Central #2
Blonde On Horseback"
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted & the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady & rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try & throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup & she is now at the mercy of the horse's relentless stride as her head is struck repeatedly against the ground. As her head is battered repeatedly against the ground a group of people with small children look on in frozen horror.......she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...    
the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the mechanical horse ride off.

SHE WAS SO BLONDE...
....she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice
box because it said "concentrate"
....she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to make up her mind.
....she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
....she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and
"DONT WALK".
....she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
....she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
....she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
....she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
....she tried to drown a fish.
....she thought a quarterback was a refund.
....she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
...if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
....they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
....under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
....she tripped over a cordless phone.
....she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
....at the bottom of the application where it says "sign  here".. she put "Sagittarius".
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
....it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
....if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
....she studied for a blood test ...and failed.
....she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
....she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
....she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
....she sold the car for gas money.
....when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16               friends.
....when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
....she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
....when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
....when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned      around and went home.
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